


Making Do With Bodie

by stew (julie)



Category: The Professionals (TV 1977)
Genre: M/M, Partners to Lovers, Partnership
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1985-11-20
Updated: 1985-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:06:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23626606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/julie/pseuds/stew
Summary: Doyle is trying to get to know this new partner of his… but when Bodie suggests they make do with each other after a Saturday night on which no birds were pulled, Doyle is shocked. Isn’t that taking it all one giant step too far?
Relationships: William Bodie/Ray Doyle
Kudos: 11





	Making Do With Bodie

**Author's Note:**

> This was one of my earliest attempts at _Professionals_ fic, and I’m pretty sure I never released it via The Circuit or a zine (probably for good reason), but if you know better than my poor memory does, please do illuminate me!

# Making Do With Bodie 

♦

“Looks like we’ll have to make do with each other tonight, Doyle,” I heard Bodie say from behind me. 

I shot him a shocked look but couldn’t see his face. He was watching a couple down the corridor who were virtually making love before they’d even got their door open. I fumbled with my keys, mind racing. There were a number of aspects of working with CI5 that took getting used to – the security locks recently installed in my flat were one, and Bodie was definitely another. 

_Get to know each other_ , Cowley had told me. So when Bodie had asked me along for his routine Saturday night’s pursuit of an easy lay, I’d felt almost obliged to accept. Of course, I’d had as little fun as I’d expected, and had got nowhere fast with the one woman who’d shown any interest. In turn, I’d hardly cramped Bodie’s style: the man had seemed to go flamboyantly overboard in his hunt, which in my opinion had frightened off any likely prospects. 

And now, somewhere after midnight, I was regretting asking Bodie back to my flat for coffee. I’d been motivated more by politeness than anything else in the first place, and when my offer had been met with Bodie’s very obvious indications that he’d have preferred it to come from someone else entirely, I had instantly realised it was a bad idea. And _now_ to have Bodie offhandedly proposition me… If I’d heard right. For a guy who’d just suggested that we make do with each other, Bodie was acting pretty cool.

Once I’d let him in, and remembered to set the deadlocks, I wandered through to my kitchen. Did Bodie deserve my finest percolated coffee? The man probably wouldn’t even notice the difference between my Mocha/Kenya blend and the instant garbage they provided at work. I grudgingly set up the percolator, while reflecting that at least the rubbish coffee at CI5 HQ made me feel immediately at home – it was the same brand as my station had used, and the urn had provided exactly the same metallic aftertaste. Bodie seemed to thrive on the stuff. 

“Nice place you have here,” Bodie called from the living room. I could hear him prowling around, and shuddered to think of him prying into my books and records, fiddling with the few ornaments. “Elegant,” was the final pronouncement. Bodie appeared in the kitchen doorway. “All this time we’ve been going out together, and you’ve never once invited me home,” he complained petulantly. _Lord_ , I thought, _he’ll want to meet my mother next_. “In fact, I think it’s time you introduced me to your folks, Raymond. They’ll start thinking you’re ashamed of me soon.”

I shot him a withered look, too tired of the games to protest the use of my full name. It wasn’t as if I’d ever called Bodie ‘William’, but this was not the time to point that out. “You hungry?” I asked shortly. 

“What’s on offer?” was the prompt response, accompanied by widened eyes and a smack of the lips. 

“Carrot cake. Homemade.”

“Heaven on earth! You can cook, too, honey.”

Taking that as a ‘yes’, I cut two generous slices, placed them on a tray with the coffee, and carried the lot out to my lounge. And watched, bemused, as Bodie’s slice of cake was wolfed down in little more than two bites. Well, he needn’t think he was having any of mine. 

“I’m starving tonight,” Bodie declared, settling into the armchair. “You know, you almost cornered that bird back at the Firehouse. Pity I didn’t have any luck – but at least we could have shared her.” I choked on my cake, but Bodie prattled on regardless. “You’ve got the face and the bod, you’ve certainly got the smile – when you care to use it. All you have to do is work on The Look.”

“The Look?”

“That’s how it’s done, see. You catch their eye, and give them The Look, and you know right away. You walk closer, sit by them almost touching, and you talk – it doesn’t matter what about because they’re already hooked. You just reel them gently in.”

“What _Look?”_ I asked in exasperation, unable to recall Bodie doing anything other than leer revoltingly all evening.

Bodie, standing from the chair, looked me straight in the eye, suddenly serious. “You see into the depths of their soul,” he intoned, pacing slowly towards me as I sat unexpectedly mesmerised. “You see _all_ of them, all their secret needs and desires. And you tell them that you can fulfil them all. And as you walk closer, you can see their lust for you, the way their nipples strain for your touch, their pussy grows moist, their lips part for your kiss… and you’ve caught them!” Bodie finished triumphantly, sitting down close to me on the sofa.

For a long moment I sat still, unwilling to tear myself away from that blue-eyed gaze – but it was _his_ will working, not mine, and I didn’t like that. Though I was beginning to believe in this Look of his. The man may well be obnoxious, I reflected, but unfortunately that didn’t stop him from being utterly seductive as well. “That’s unfair,” I finally spluttered. “Talking about nipples when I’ve struck out. It’s been ages, too, since I’ve made love…”

“Know what you mean, mate. I’ve gone two weeks now without a screw. Remember last Saturday? Cowley had us visiting half of London about that shooting. And there’s been no chance since… The tension’s almost killing me.”

“Two weeks? I’ve been without for two months now,” I said, even as I wondered how wise that admission was. 

“Good Lord, and you’re still alive? We’d better do something about that, quick as we can!”

I stared disbelievingly at him. Bodie was like no cop I’d ever been partnered with, that was for sure. “You didn’t mean it,” I said. “Did you?”

“What?”

“About – about making do with each other.”

Bodie returned my stare for a moment before bursting out laughing. “Oh, sunshine, that’s a good one. You took me seriously? That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard all year.”

“All right, all right. What was I meant to think?”

Temporarily incapable of answering, Bodie hooted with laughter. I watched him for long minutes, my rueful expression only setting him off again every time he calmed down. I really should have known better. “Oh, sunshine, that’s precious.”

“Yeah, yeah. Everything’s a joke for you.”

“No, that’s not true,” Bodie said as he wiped his eyes. “That’s not right – just most things.” He reached for his cup of coffee, which must be almost cold by now, and drank down half of it before turning back to my silence. “If I couldn’t laugh at life, I’d be in a sorry state by now, Ray.”

I just looked at him.

“Fate’s dealt me some rough blows, partner. Makes it hard work to lower the defences. You understand.” And Bodie stood, swallowed the rest of his coffee. “Thanks for the hospitality.”

“You’re not going?” I clambered quickly to my feet.

“It’s late.”

“But –” I fished around for an excuse, but ended up deciding on the truth. “You’ve just said the first thing that’s made me feel I could get to know you, and now you’re leaving?”

“That’s right. Doesn’t take much for the defence mechanisms to snap back into place.”

“Bodie, you are the most frustrating person I’ve ever met!”

“Yeah?”

His grin goaded me into saying all the things that had been simmering within me for the last seven weeks. “Also the cockiest, the most irreverent, the most hateful. You treat women like produce, me like dirt, and Cowley like an office clerk. You act like your job’s a game of dare, you –”

“Knock it off, Ray.”

“I would have said you were shallow, too, ten minutes ago. But seeing as you’re not, what’s your excuse for the rest?”

“Owe you an explanation, do I?”

“I reckon you do. I’m your partner, like it or not, Bodie, and we’ve got to make it work. That involves a little effort on your part.”

“ _You’re_ the new recruit – _you_ should be making the effort to fit in.”

“I _have_ been. But it takes a hell of a lot of effort just to put up with you. I’ve come too far to let you stuff me up now, Bodie. _Damned_ if I’ll let you get in the way.”

“That’s the spirit!” Bodie crowed. “Lord, you’re so cold all the time. Clinical. I was beginning to think the Cow had teamed me with a robot. Wouldn’t put it past him –”

“Wouldn’t put it past you to get up a robot’s nose, too,” I muttered sourly, turning away and folding my arms tight across my chest. 

Bodie started laughing again, a deep rumble from his belly. “I think I can like you after all, Ray Doyle.”

“Yeah, well, it ain’t mutual.” But as Bodie kept laughing, I looked around. And one sight of the warmth and surprise on my partner’s irreverent, irresponsible face did me in. It was instinctive rather than deliberate, but a smile played on my lips, and I began chuckling. Finally I said, “Don’t think you can always get on my good side so easy. Reckon you’re irresistible if you turn on your charm, don’t you?”

“Didn’t work tonight,” Bodie cheerfully pointed out. He gestured around my flat. “Do _you_ see any birds?”

“You weren’t really trying.”

“Oh? Why ever not?” Bodie’s blue eyes watched me carefully. It wasn’t hard to guess what he thought I was accusing him of. “Doesn’t make much sense, does it? After two weeks of unaccustomed abstinence.”

“You were more interested in trying to shock a reaction out of me.”

“And I only succeeded when we got back here.”

“Yeah. You make do with guys often?” I asked bluntly.

Bodie sat down again on the armchair, opposite where I was standing, but with his head bowed so that all I could see was the unruly short dark hair. “If I was a right bastard but it was a long time ago, will you still speak to me?”

I sat down, too, having expected another joking denial. “Yeah, I’ll still speak to you.” It wasn’t like I didn’t already know he had some Stone Age notions stuck in his head. At least I also knew those notions could be dislodged on occasion.

“Back in Africa. We were often miles from civilisation for weeks.”

“And you can’t even hold out for two.”

“That’s right.”

“So… other straight men? How d’you proposition _them?”_

“Gay men, usually. Not straights. The gays were absurdly grateful for a bit of affection, and I took advantage. Even when I treated them badly, most would come back for more.” Bodie finally lifted his gaze to mine. I guess I was looking austere, though you get used to meeting all sorts as a police officer. “See,” said Bodie, “there’s benefits in you not getting to know me very well. You get right down into it, you find I’m not very likeable.”

“Somehow I didn’t expect you to be,” I flatly replied.

“Thanks a lot!” Bodie smiled, but I thought I actually might have hurt him with that. Just a little.

I sighed. “I think I’d rather know you and dislike you, than listen to your… more questionable jokes and hate you.”

“Tit for tat,” Bodie briskly responded. “I’ve told you something bad about me. Now you tell me the worst thing about you.” After a long moment of silence, Bodie started laughing again, a touch of derision ringing in my ears. “That’s the worst thing, is it? You’re so vanilla you can’t even think of anything to confess.”

Defensively, I started with the tale that until now had been saved for the occupational psychologists. “Violence. I’d always hated violence. It was everywhere. It got so as you couldn’t go out with your mates for a drink or to the footy without someone trying to pick a fight. That included my friends. And even my family – though that was more mental than physical. The people next door – the man beat up his kids and ended up killing his wife. The world was meant to be at peace, but the news said there were seventy wars going on. It all sickened me. I resented the fear I felt every time I stepped outside, I hated my family for being a part of it all. And all this built up inside me until there wasn’t a single minute of my waking life when I wasn’t simmering with rage at the world.

“Then one day I came across some guys bullying a pair of youngsters. God knows what they would have done if I hadn’t stopped them – they were nasty pieces of work. It was me against the three of them, and I was fit but no more than that, so I had to fight dirty just to win. But once I’d won, I kept laying into them. I took all the rage and fear within me and I visited it on them. The youngsters had disappeared – I never even knew who they were. And the result was that I got charged for aggravated assault. I didn’t do time for it, except in my heart. I couldn’t reconcile it within myself, I couldn’t accept that I was violent, too, just like all the rest. And I couldn’t believe that my violence was the proper answer to their violence. 

“But that was it. My temper was loose, and I couldn’t even trust myself anymore.”

“What about your violence now?” Bodie asked. “In the service of the state.”

I pulled a wry smile, more like a grimace. “It’s still hard for me to accept that authorised violence is the answer to unlawful violence. It’s my pet dilemma. I accept that someone’s got to stop them, and there’s often no other way. I guess once I’d sorted that much out – intellectually, if not in my heart – that’s when I decided to become a cop. But it wasn’t just the criminals… I got paranoid. I’d see a dark side to match mine in everyone, even the most innocent people. I joined the police with some idea of waging war against the darkness. But I turned out to be a good cop, and they helped me work through the paranoia. Though my heart’s never been in it.”

“The robot. Purely functional.”

“But with a temper.”

Bodie nodded thoughtfully. “Very illuminating. OK – tell me a good thing now.”

“It’s your turn again,” I reminded him.

“The best thing about me,” he said easily, “is that I trust Cowley. I trust him implicitly.”

“So?” I figured that was a job requirement.

“I was in the army, and I hired out as a mercenary, only because I was good at it, I enjoyed it, the fighting and the self-discipline. I was smart and quick and I could do whatever they told me had to be done. Hell, I could do it _better_ than they told me. But there was no other _reason_ for me.” He looked at me and nodded. “Cowley gives me a reason. When he tells me what has to be done, I know it’s _right_. I know I’m one of the good guys for once in my life, and I like it.”

“Weren’t you a good guy in the army? And, I dunno, but… couldn’t you have chosen the right causes to sell your services to as a mercenary? Or am I being unbearably naïve?”

Bodie shook his head. “I couldn’t trust my judgement anymore, and I knew I couldn’t trust the army’s. Sometimes I couldn’t tell the difference between me and the people I was fighting.” He shrugged. “Cowley was a godsend.”

“I can see the difference between you and Martens,” I said, thinking back to the terrorist we’d recently arrested. 

“Lord, I should hope so! But it was Cowley made that possible.” Bodie looked away for a moment, and I thought about how there was no one else in his life that he would tell this to. Certainly not Cowley himself, although I figured our boss would have a fair idea of it anyhow. “Your turn, Doyle,” Bodie prompted.

“I don’t know… The best things – that I did something about the worst thing. That I made it to CI5.”

“Quite an accomplishment, seeing as you’ve only served in England.”

“I know. And for a while, I thought I was gonna let you ruin my chance. I couldn’t work out what Cowley was doing, teaming us up. I even told him that.”

“What?” Bodie seemed impressed. Even the irreverent Bodie rarely questioned Cowley’s word, though I knew a little more about why that was now – and if Bodie hadn’t complained about our partnership, then there would be very little else that the Scot would have to answer to him about. “What did he say?”

“Said that we each had skills the other needed. Said we’d help each other become the kind of operatives he’d give his eye teeth for. Then he said he’d break both my arms if I didn’t make it work.”

“Yeah? He could have told me that in the first place,” Bodie grumbled. “I always got to work on my own before you showed up.”

“I know, I know,” I said wearily. I’d heard that a million times already, and it didn’t seem fair of Bodie to drag it out again tonight. “Thought you’d been given a nursemaid job, didn’t you?”

Bodie nodded thoughtfully. “I underestimated you.”

“Takes Cowley’s opinion to make you see that, does it?”

“I guess so.”

We sat silently for a while, thoughts diverging. Me, I went back over all that Bodie had said. Only one point really bothered me. “What did you mean when you said you weren’t nice to those guys back in Africa?”

Bodie shrugged again, his frequent form of communication. “I used them. I’d give them The Look, and they tended towards thinking I was a dream come true. Then I’d take what I wanted and leave them. They wanted affection and friendship and understanding. All I wanted was sex.”

“Yet – you said – most would come back for more.”

“I’ve got the face and the bod and the talent,” Bodie told me matter-of-factly. “Of course they came back. Moths to a flame.”

I didn’t bother replying to that. 

“You understand them, don’t you?” he prompted.

“What?”

“When I was demonstrating my seductive powers to you, I had you spellbound. Now you can’t get your mind off the idea.”

“You’re mad.”

“Come on – the truth, Doyle, like all the other truths we’ve been telling each other tonight.”

“OK, you’re right,” I said as coolly as I could. Another admission I should have kept to myself. “So what? You think I’m gonna do anything about it?”

Bodie looked at me from under his winged eyebrows. “No, but _I_ might.” And he grinned as my fragile composure crumpled a little. “Want some relief?”

“No,” I said firmly.

“Best offer you’ve had all night. No strings attached, either. Just a hungry mouth, and hands other than your own.”

“No,” I repeated. But I sat deathly still as Bodie moved to sit beside me again. Having worked the hard way through my fears ever since I was eighteen, I’d grown to be honest with myself. That applied to my desires as well, so I wasn’t surprised that Bodie had stirred me – but I was alarmed at my acquiescence. My honesty had helped me keep a tight rein on anything that I considered to be out of the ordinary, and my control had become a matter of pride. 

“Third time’s the charm,” he said softly. “Say ‘no’ again, and I’ll hear you.”

I didn’t say anything, but just watched him. He was a beautiful bastard…

“Close your eyes,” he murmured, and my eyelids drooped shut, I let my head fall back against the sofa. “That’s right, just relax. No harm in a friend helping you out, is there? Just let me touch you, let me make you feel good.” Bodie’s fingers worked at my belt and zipper, and at his coaxing I lifted my hips enough to let him pull my jeans and jocks down to my thighs. “You don’t even have to know it’s me. Think of that bird at the Firehouse, if you like.”

His tentative fingers on my cock quickly teased it into a full and hungry erection. Then he shifted to kneel on the floor between my legs, and took me into his mouth. I groaned, “No, Bodie…” but he seemed to know that wasn’t meant to be the third ‘no’. It wasn’t like I couldn’t deal with him if I wanted to be rid of him.

Intently, skilfully, my partner began working his tongue and teeth and lips and fingers over my cock and balls and the sensitive skin around them. It was like nothing I’d ever experienced before, though I’d been sure for years that there were no surprises left me as regards sex. I shifted down a little to get more contact with him, and Bodie took advantage of the move – he shifted across so our legs interleaved, and he pressed his own hardness against my shin as if seeking a little comfort of his own. I groaned to feel him. It was intoxicating. 

He slowly started pumping at my cock with his hand, while he got busy with his mouth at my balls. I groaned again, and he answered me. I don’t think either of us had expected _him_ to be groaning. He began to thrust his cock against me in time with his hands on me, now with serious intent. I gave up trying to control my breathing, trying to do anything other than register all the sensations sweeping through me.

I summoned the energy – or rather the will – to push at his shoulder to warn him, but he seemed to already know. He shifted up to fasten his mouth around me, and he drank my seed as I shuddered in reaction, gripping his shoulders with my hands, pressing my leg against him. As I quietened, Bodie kept the rhythm of his thrusts. And soon, face communing with my damp softened cock, hands now at my waist, he brought himself to completion.

It wasn’t long before unease broke into the warmth we’d generated. Bodie stood and turned away without looking at me, while I dazedly rearranged my clothing. “I’d better go,” he said.

“Yes, I suppose –” I faltered. “D’you want to clean up first?” He’d be a right mess by the time he got home. He must already be a right mess.

“No. It’s all right.” He still wouldn’t look at me.

“Thank you,” I said, standing up as well.

Bodie barked out a laugh. “For what?”

“That was good.” _It was bloody fantastic, you idiot_. But he didn’t look like he wanted to know that. I knew my face flushed when he turned, but I didn’t back down. “I hope it was OK for you.”

“Spare me the niceties. An orgasm’s an orgasm.” He paced to the door, then seemed to relent a little. “See you Monday, then.”

“Yeah. See you.” And he was gone.

♦

On Monday, things were even worse between us. “Morning,” Bodie cheerfully greeted me. “How’s the hangover?”

“What hangover?”

“Thought you were drunk as a skunk Saturday. I know I was.”

I turned away, seething. So he wanted me to think that our conversation and the sex wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t been drunk? And, seeing as I’d just admitted to sobriety, that I was therefore the more culpable of the pair of us? I knew better than to let Bodie rile me so easily, but he really got up my nose that morning, and without saying more than twenty words to me either. He was an expert.

But the worst of it was that my cock proved it had a mind of its own. I’d admitted to myself, and accepted, that Bodie gave the best head ever – but to have my cock stir hungrily at my first sight of him was both unexpected and totally unwanted.

And _then_ the infantile moron had the nerve to sweep me with a very knowing and sexual Look just as we were entering Cowley’s office. I subsequently had the Scot take his temper out on _me_ for daring to come in to work in a foul mood, during all of which Bodie sat back looking amused. At least I had the satisfaction of seeing Cowley then turn on Bodie, but I’d really had too much of them both by this time to get any enjoyment out of the well-earned tirade.

Nothing new had happened over the weekend, so Cowley sent us out to follow up on some of Martens’ colleagues and contacts scattered throughout London. It was going to be tedious legwork mainly – for once we’d captured a terrorist more by luck than planning, and the follow-up was therefore much more extensive. But weeding out some part of a network always gives me a great deal of satisfaction. Though I knew the links and channels would spring up again elsewhere, at least we could slow the process down a little and cause the bad guys some grief instead of vice versa. 

“I’ll head down the East End, you do the ones closer in,” I suggested to Bodie on our way to the car pool.

He eyed me, knowing as well as I did that Cowley would not approve of us splitting up. If you were partnered, then you worked as a team at all times humanly possible. But maybe Bodie wanted to be with me as little as I wanted to endure him today. “It’s just tracking people down,” he said, tentative at disobeying standing orders and trying to justify it. 

“Yeah. I’ll meet you this afternoon at the White Lion, before we check in again.” I knew the dangers – and not just from Cowley. If it came to the crunch, terrorists’ contacts rarely _enjoyed_ being taken in for questioning. 

“Three o’clock? And if we nick someone, we pick the other up on the way in.”

I nodded, and we breezed in unison up to the car pool attendant, hoping to bluff our way through a demand for two cars without him getting suspicious and maybe alerting Cowley. Nice as it would be, a CI5 operative does not have unlimited resources available at the drop of a hat.

Successful, I sat in the front seat of my assigned Ford Escort, refreshing my memory with a list of partial descriptions, hints from Martens’ interrogation, and possible conclusions. I lifted my head to look through the open window as Bodie pulled up beside me. “The answer’s ‘no’, then, is it?” he called across at me. 

“The answer to what?”

“Must get lonely in that closet!” And he was gone, leaving a squeal of tyres sharp in my ears.

My blood immediately started boiling again, and I almost raced off after him – just to get my hands on that solid neck of his and wring it. But there’d be no point. The way he drove, I’d only catch up with Bodie if he intended me to, and _that_ would mean further taunting. I’d have to find a way to stop reacting to him. Until Saturday night, I’d been cool as a cucumber, externally at least, but now he’d got through to me, he’d never stop.

Luckily, in one way, neither of us were able to make any arrests. I put in a hard day’s information-gathering, and then headed for the White Lion. I walked in a little after three to find Bodie waiting with a stiff drink and a gloomy expression. 

“I’m not in any closet,” I hissed at him when I was close enough. “And what did I say ‘no’ to?”

“Nothing,” he replied implacably. “Didn’t ask you for nothing.”

“You didn’t ask me for anything,” I said, automatically correcting his grammar. I sat down heavily on the barstool beside him. “Bodie, we’re going to have to stop this. We’ve been behaving like contrary children all day.” He was silent. “Can’t we at least try to talk about it?”

“Let’s go back to my place, then.”

“I’d rather talk here.” Though I didn’t know why – there’d be a dozen witnesses if I murdered him.

“What, scared you’ll jump my bones again?”

“Not really,” I said mildly, refusing to rise to that particular bait. “And, to set the record straight, it was you who did the seducing on Saturday. No doubt because you were drunk.”

“I wasn’t drunk.”

“That’s not what you wanted me to think this morning.”

“I know,” he admitted. He stared into his drink for a while, and apparently decided to not be quite so contrary. “What to play _Truth_ again? Without the _Dare_ option?”

“OK.” But then Bodie remained silent, so I started. “The truth is that I think Cowley’s right, I think we could make a great team.”

“Yeah,” he agreed so quietly I hardly heard him. “I missed working with you today.” He looked up. “At least you know the city better than me,” was his justification for that admission.

I was amazed. When I found my voice, I said, “But we can’t go on like we have been. I can’t take much more of this. I’m gonna end up stressed out on invalidity pay due to my partner’s jokes.”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t pick on me so much, don’t goad me. It’s unfair tactics, and I don’t even know _why_ you’re employing them.”

“We’ve got to report back to the Cow,” Bodie said.

“Look, what’s wrong? I’ve never seen you this subdued.”

“Did it qualify as assault?” he suddenly asked. “Or worse. On Saturday?”

I blushed again, I really couldn’t help myself. _Poor tactics, Doyle!_ “That’s the last thing it was,” I said firmly. “Look, let’s get back to HQ.” 

To my surprise, he followed me out the door with no further argument.

Bodie’s driving was also subdued, to the degree that I could follow him easily in my little Escort. Or maybe he was being sensible for once – he wouldn’t want Cowley to find him hanging around waiting for me to show up, after all.

On the way to Cowley’s office, I gave Bodie a rundown on what I’d found out that day. We probably should have done that back at the pub, rather than get distracted by other things… A particular piece of information I’d wormed out of one of my usual sources had him yelling “Bingo!” and dragging me aside into the breakroom. “You know what this means, don’t you?”

“No. It’s a codename for an operation, or maybe a person, but I don’t know what.”

“That’s one of the names that Martens’ boss goes by. That’s fantastic! And he’s linked to that address, right?”

“Yeah. There’s some connection with drug trafficking there. That place was rumoured to be HQ for someone untouchable when I was on the beat.”

“I’m sure as hell glad you told me before we got to Cowley! He’s gonna hit the roof, and I would have, too.”

“OK, so what’s the big deal with an address?”

“We had nothing on the guy this morning, Ray, nothing to connect him with in London at all. And if he’s linked himself with drugs then he’s stupider than we thought. You’ve done good, partner.”

I shrugged, trying to keep the pleased smile off my face, trying not to mutter, “‘Partner’ is it, now…?” Remembering my source acting like he was giving me a Christmas present, and me not being overly interested. I scrubbed the mental note to send the boys in blue a hint about his girlfriend’s stolen Porsche. 

Unfortunately, but foreseeably, the Cow smelt a rat when he saw just how much ground we’d covered between us and how much information we’d garnered. Bodie hadn’t had such a good day as me, but it was enough. “What’s going on here, lads? A little motivated for a Monday, aren’t we?”

“You keep saying that a team is worth more than the sum of its parts,” Bodie told him. I winced. One did not quote Cowley back to him, I’d learned that early on. “We’re working well together.”

“I’d have said the opposite this morning.”

“Well, we’ve sorted things out since,” Bodie replied.

“I wish I could believe that,” Cowley muttered. I wished that, too. But he let us go – and though I knew he’d check the car pool and work out what had happened, I figured we at least now had a little leeway to really get things on a better footing.

“You want to see how well I can cook?” I offered Bodie as we tidied up some paperwork back in our office.

“Yeah,” Bodie said immediately, though a little warily. 

“I don’t suppose your taste-buds got much time with that carrot cake on Saturday, but I assure you it was delicious.”

“I believe you!” he said with an uncomplicated laugh. “OK.” 

“Give me half an hour before you come over. I’ll have to get some supplies on the way home.”

“I’ll bring a bottle of plonk.”

“Can I trust you?” I considered the likely consequences, and shuddered. “No, for the sake of our lower intestines, I’ll take care of that, too.”

♦

It was nice to be cooking for someone, domestic and trite but true. I only planned a simple steak and salad, but it was going to be the best goddamned steak Bodie had ever eaten. He wouldn’t be able to accuse me of not putting in the necessary effort. 

The main motivator, I told myself, was the prospect of Cowley breaking both my arms the next day, when it finally became obvious to him that Bodie and I had stuffed up our partnership. Unless I did something drastic tonight, tomorrow would not be the highlight of my career, that was for sure. 

The table was set, the wine was breathing, and the steak was marinating when Bodie finally arrived. I opened the door to be confronted with a bunch of red roses. “What the hell?” Surprised was an understatement.

“I couldn’t come empty-handed, could I?” he complained mildly. “Wouldn’t be polite.” And the roses weren’t all – he had changed into a dark suit, with a blue tie bringing out the sapphire in those eyes…

“Is this another lesson about this Look of yours? Behaviour, gifts and recommended attire on a follow-up date, perhaps?”

“You got it,” he said, smiling.

“Hungry?” I asked. I hadn’t been planning on starting dinner for a while, but the roses had really thrown me.

“Hungry?” he quietly echoed, sliding his gaze away. “Hell, yeah.” Still smiling. 

I took the roses into the kitchen at a discreet run, and found a vase stashed up the back of a cupboard. “Help yourself to the wine,” I remembered to call out. “The bottle’s on the sideboard with the glasses.”

When I took the vase full of flowers out to the dining table, he was pouring us each a glass of wine. I took mine, and toasted him with it. “To us,” he said, and I offered the same. 

_Well-behaved_ was the word that sprang to mind about Bodie while we ate. Pleasant conversation and good company, no less. I really began thinking of the guy as a friend. He even complimented me on my day’s work again, though I couldn’t agree that me unwittingly being given an address really qualified me for praise. 

“Well, I can’t say you’re not making an effort here, Bodie,” I announced over coffee.

“How am I doing? Getting anywhere?”

When I looked up, he seemed strangely unsure of himself. With his elbows on the table, he was ready to duck his head behind the cover of his clasped hands at any time. “Fine,” I told him. “You’re doing fine.”

“Wanna know something? I hated today. I spend weeks wanting to work alone again, and when I get the chance…”

“What?”

He looked sheepish. “It was lonely. And boring. The social outcast getting lonely, I ask you,” he scoffed. 

“It’s not entirely unheard of, you know.” I sat back a little, then decided to take the plunge. “No doubt I’m stating the obvious, but when we were first partnered, all that obnoxious behaviour? You were trying to drive me away.”

“Didn’t even dent your armour.”

“Only because I’ve learned a thing or two about hiding my reactions. Until I blew it this morning, anyway.”

“Well,” Bodie said as if this was entirely reasonable, “you weren’t meant to be driven away this morning.” 

“And you were being particularly obnoxious, too!” I huffed a laugh. “What was that about, then?”

Bodie swallowed his coffee, and shifted the subject. “I’ve been thinking. About us. I reckon we make a good team _because_ we’re different. Completely different backgrounds, for a start. We complement each other. Like a balance between instinct and logic, yeah? The tension between the heart and the brain. And I trust Cowley’s judgement on that.”

“You didn’t at first.”

“I resented losing my independence. Until I realised that we were working OK together.”

“So, why d’you keep giving me a hard time?”

“I’m too much of a loner.” Then Bodie continued with some difficulty, “I didn’t know how to react to you. To the fact that I was starting to like you. And respect you.” He became fierce, looking so directly at me that my adrenalin spiked. “You’re damn good, you should have more faith in yourself. You’re on the right side – it’s never-ending, no one will win, but we’ve got to fight. What’s the alternative? Let them run riot. I might not always know what’s right, but I sure as hell know what’s wrong.”

I took a breath once this outburst was over, and reminded him, “You lost faith in yourself, too.”

“But Cowley gave it back to me. Trust him, believe in what you’re doing. Do you really think he’d send you out there, armed and dangerous, if you weren’t sound? If it wasn’t necessary? It’s good that you question the violence – it means you’ll never overreact again. Have faith in your instincts as well as your intellect.”

“Bodie…” I looked away, touched to the core. “You’re very persuasive.”

“Irresistible, remember?”

“If you say so.”

“I’m hungry again, and not just for your carrot cake.” His blue-eyed gaze was intense. “Did you like what I did on Saturday?”

“O’ course I did. You’ve got the talent, remember?”

“Let me do it again, Ray.”

“What are you _asking_ for? Ain’t the Look working tonight?” He flinched at that, and I was surprised to find how much it hurt me to have hurt him. “Hey,” I continued a little more gently. “Doesn’t the sex complicate a situation that’s already pretty shaky? It’s not exactly wise behaviour. I can’t see Cowley being too keen on the idea.”

“I don’t care about that.”

He surprised me again. His implicit trust in Cowley obviously didn’t extend this far. “It was good, Bodie, damn good. But it doesn’t help us, does it? When Cowley hauls us over the coals tomorrow, we’ve got to prove ourselves a team or suffer the consequences. And you giving me free blow jobs doesn’t solve the problem. Your career might not be at stake here, but I for one don’t need a reprimand this early in mine.”

He was staring down at his hands clasped hard around the coffee cup. I couldn’t see much, but his voice gave away the fact that he was pretty choked up. “I forgot you disapprove of my adventures in Africa.”

“I don’t disapprove of the sex itself. I don’t like the way you treated those guys, but it wasn’t much of a shock. You treat women much the same these days.”

“I didn’t treat you like that.”

“Yeah? Then, what was the attitude this morning for?”

Bodie looked up at me, eyes bright. “You weren’t meant to run away from me,” he said in a strained voice. “I told you – I have no idea how to react to you.”

“What do you expect _me_ to do about it?” I cried out in frustration. 

He let out a groan and stood, paced to the window. “I don’t know.”

“And what was that meant to be, about me being in the closet? Sounds more like you.”

“Ray, I –”

But he’d got me on the attack, and I ranted on regardless. “I’ve always acknowledged my feelings, and sometimes they’ve been for men. But if I _choose_ not to do anything about it, then I’m entitled to some respect. Just because you forced the issue on Saturday –”

“You said it wasn’t force,” he interrupted. “You said –”

“I’ve never given in, you see,” I said, the hurt in his eyes making me lower my voice. “I’ve never had sex with another man. But I’m allowed to choose not to, aren’t I?”

“Yes,” he whispered. And he actually said, “I’m sorry, Ray.”

I’d thought Bodie was one of those men who _never_ apologised. Was I wrong, or was he changing…? To give us a few moments, I went to the sideboard, poured us each a brandy. When I gave him his glass, I saw his hand trembling. “I’m sorry, too,” I said gruffly. “Didn’t mean to get angry about it.”

“It’s all right.”

I watched him for a while, as he sipped at the spirits and stared out the window. Not that I figured he was seeing much. I wouldn’t even have been able to picture him so subdued and unfocussed three days ago, and I was little closer to understanding it tonight. “What is it? What’s wrong?” After a brief silence, I took a stab in the dark – the reason he’d be most likely to laugh at. “You were hoping I’d succumb to your charms again?”

“Yes.”

“Bodie…” I thought back to that morning. “Is that what I said ‘no’ to? Without you asking me anything?”

“Not just a blow job.”

“What, then?”

“More than that,” he said, head bowed so I couldn’t see his face. “Not just tonight.”

“You want – you want us to be lovers?” I stammered out. “Bodie, what on earth…” I went to sit on the armchair, knees weak. “I don’t know –”

“I don’t know either,” he said from behind me. “I’ve slept around, I’ve lived and worked alone, all my life. I don’t even know what I’m talking about when it comes to relationships.”

I managed a hollow chuckle. “Different backgrounds again. I didn’t sleep around, I had love affairs. Some of them lasted a night, one lasted a year – but they were all romance.”

“You could teach me,” Bodie said wistfully.

“I don’t think I could teach you a thing, mate. The roses were pure genius.”

Bodie came over to sit opposite me on the sofa. “Do I have a chance, Ray?” He gazed across at me, all the bluster and arrogance of his Look gone. Instead, his eyes were bright, his pale cheeks slightly flushed, his expression humble and hopeful. He was bewitching. 

“I don’t know if I –” But looking at him, my cock said ‘yes’ and my heart asked ‘why not?’ It was only my brain that told me not to be such an idiot. “It’s not feasible,” I said with more certainty. “How can we expect to make our partnership work if we start an affair? It’s simply not an option. We’ve got too much to deal with as it is.”

“No? You’re the expert.” He laughed a little. “I just had this picture of us – partners in every way, working so well. Belonging together. Must be getting romantic in my old age.” He smiled wryly. “Never mind. I think we can convince the Cow tomorrow, right? Best team since Abbott and Costello, and all that.”

I just sat watching him. His smile, though more like my Bodie of old, was strangely vulnerable, and his hands still trembled. I could really fall for this Bodie. Fall hard. That was suddenly the problem – his picture of us sounded divine, but it wasn’t going to work in half measures. “How do you feel for me?”

“You’re a friend, Ray, and a damned good operative. I’m proud of you.”

“The truth, the whole truth, and…”

“Are we still playing that? Well… Saturday, you proved to me that an orgasm ain’t necessarily just an orgasm.”

“I hardly even touched you,” I said guiltily. 

“Yeah, and it was incredible. Made me start imagining what it would be like to get naked with you, to feel you…” He took a deep breath and smiled again shakily. “And as I kept thinking about you, I started feeling like –”

“What?” I whispered. 

“Like all the pop songs ever written. I used to think they were just so much rubbish, and I guess I’m a bit old to start humming along, but there you go.”

All right, that was it – I was fallen for him, my grammar was out the window, and I didn’t want it any other way. “I love you, Bodie.”

“Thank you,” he said politely in reply.

“I meant I’m in love with you, you twit – the whole shebang. If you want me, want that partnership in every way, then I’m here for you. And please don’t tell me you’ve changed your mind in the last five minutes.”

“No. No, I haven’t.” We just sat there, and he looked at me, happy and quite obviously at a complete loss. “I love you,” he said after a while, as if testing the shape of the words in his mouth.

“Yeah, it’s completely mutual.”

“What will Cowley do? Hit the roof!”

“No way does he find out about it,” I said with a laugh. “Not yet, anyway. Maybe later – after we make some tactful inquiries as to how prejudiced he is.”

“Probably not in the slightest,” Bodie offered. “He won’t think you and me is a good idea, though.”

“So in the meantime, we’ll prove to him that it works, eh?”

Bodie nodded. “What now, Ray?”

“Oh, I don’t know… A little of the usual, I suppose. What d’you reckon?” He smiled, and I went to sit next to him. “The happy grins tomorrow will convince Cowley that all is well.”

“The happy grins, and the black shadows under our eyes…”

I looked at him. “Bodie, do you realise you haven’t even kissed me yet?”

“Just saving the best till last, sunshine.” And he shifted close, pulling me into his arms like he’d never let me go again.

♦


End file.
